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wandering_castor: A porcupine icon (Default)
wandering_castor

January 2026

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wandering_castor: A porcupine icon (Default)
I think my nonhumanity and delusions go paw in paw with each other.

My therapist wants me to do a IOP program and I’m going to do it because my hallucinations and delusions are getting out of hand even medicated.

I’m bipolar 1 with psychotic features but I feel like once I do the intensive outpatient program for a few months that my diagnosis might change. I’ve never done a IOP program so please wish me luck that I’ll be able to do it and get into 1 of the 3 places. I see my therapist to talk about which place I’m choosing next week and then I go through the process.

But I definitely think me being a beaver is tied to my mental health and psychosis.
wandering_castor: A porcupine icon (Default)
So I’m a newly awakened porcupine therian and yesterday something interesting happened to me. I was sitting in the living room and I had just gotten home with my cousins. It was freezing outside like 13°F and I just thought in my head “I wish I was in a cozy tree or log right now” you know because porcupines can nest in tree’s or logs. Well as soon as a said that I was transported into a tree in a forest. I felt the tree bark and I saw myself as a porcupine In a tree and it felt like a memory to me!

Now do I believe In past lives? Kinda. I don’t know how else to explain what happened but I just know it was a memory because it felt like it happened to me in a previous life? And I’m not spiritual at all but this makes me think about things. I feel like it could be a memory for me. It was so vivid and real, like I was experiencing it at this moment. It’s kinda like my essence or soul was suddenly in a porcupine body. But it felt real and I can’t stop thinking about this experience.
wandering_castor: A porcupine icon (Default)
New introduction post. I’ve discovered more things about myself and I figured I’d make a whole new introduction post instead of editing the original post because I like seeing the progress I’ve made or how things have changed.

I’m Maddie, I’m an adult, a beaver therian, mermaid otherlink and questioning being a porcupine therian. I’m nonhuman but I don’t believe I’m a holothere as I don’t think I’m biologically nonhuman but I am transspecies. I plan on using this to write about my nonhuman existence and experiences.

Also I’m pagan and very neurodivergent.
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