wandering_castor

I think my nonhumanity and delusions go paw in paw with each other.

My therapist wants me to do a IOP program and I’m going to do it because my hallucinations and delusions are getting out of hand even medicated.

I’m bipolar 1 with psychotic features but I feel like once I do the intensive outpatient program for a few months that my diagnosis might change. I’ve never done a IOP program so please wish me luck that I’ll be able to do it and get into 1 of the 3 places. I see my therapist to talk about which place I’m choosing next week and then I go through the process.

But I definitely think me being a beaver is tied to my mental health and psychosis.

My identities:

My gender:
I figured I could post more about me since I’m on here! I identify as a agender woman so for me that means I don’t feel gender but present as a woman and sometimes feel like one occasionally. My pronouns are it/she maybe also they/them.

My nonhuman identities:
- Transspecies
- beaver therian
- porcupine therian
- mermaid otherlink
- ocean hearted

I’d say my mermaid otherlink is the strongest identity currently but that could change. I just feel like a mermaid more often than not. Which the story of how I decided to otherlink mermaids is sorta interesting to me! I’m a shapeshifter or polymorph and I’ve felt like a mermaid in the past and have missed the mermaid feeling and I’m already ocean hearted in a concept kin way so I decided to link mermaids and now it’s the one I feel the most often! Also linked It to be closer to beavers and for a short bit I thought I was a mermaid beaver and identified as that but I think it was just me being a mermaid and not necessarily both combined?

The porcupine identity is the newest one for me. Which interestingly enough porcupine are also rodents like beavers!! I love rodents so much as animals. But yes I’m also a porcupine. I feel the spikes and know I’m puffed up as a porcupine whenever I feel threatened or in danger. I’m pretty certain I’m a North American porcupine based on the way I feel my quills on me.

My sexualities:
Biromantic and Demiromantic as well as polyamorous! Also I’m aplflux which means my platonic attraction fluctuates at random.

But yeah I’d say those are all the most important identities I have and that I wanted to share on here.

Hi, I’m Levander or Castor (it/he). I joined Dreamwidth to write about my experiences being a beaver therian! Specifically being a merbeaver. Which is a mer and beaver as that is what I am.
For me that looks like being a beaver but it’s kinda hard to explain, it’s not a half human upper body and then a lower half beaver body. It’s just a full beaver. I see beavers as mer technically so that’s why I call myself a merbeaver. Maybe one day I’ll attempt to draw what I look like but right now I can’t currently do that. But I look forward to writing more and getting the hang of dreamwidth.